i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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