I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
