What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
