im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
