real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
