I like my sex mixed with concussions.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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