Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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