i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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