windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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