I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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