are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
