Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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