note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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