Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
