I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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