were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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