Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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