"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
