i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
