so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
