Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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