Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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