I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize