It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize