I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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