Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
