mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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