So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
