I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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