it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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