I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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