This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Your shirt... Was in my pants
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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