I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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