I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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