So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
we're so committed to being not committed
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize