dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
