Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
