I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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