There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
