Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize