She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
