Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
