I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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