No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
