with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Shame - the story of my life.
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