i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
