It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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