she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
