I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
