Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
