It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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