hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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