Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
