So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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