My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
