i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
