Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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