don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
