you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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